real life conversations

Our babysitter sent me this picture while I was at work with the description: 

"Definitely just crawled over to her grabbed her hand and kissed It. What a gentleman."

I told everyone I'm locking Bo in his room for the rest of his life.

Upon seeing the picture...

Doug: "He's probably pooping and needed something to hang onto."

Me: "Isn't that what marriage is all about?"

real life "conversations"

Doug, starting suddenly from sleep: 

"Sorry. I just had a dream that Bonsa was peeing all over the place. Welcome to parenthood."

Rolls over, goes back to sleep.

awkward comments in real life

So, having gone through pre-adoption education classes and hearing so many "horror" stories from adoptive families - especially transracial adoptive families - I was expecting to hear multiple comments from friends, family, strangers... you name it.

I've been pleasantly surprised that really, the comment I hear most often is, "He has amazing eyes!"
Which is just true.

To be honest, sometimes I think adoptive families get a little too worked up about questions they're asked. I mean, don't you want people asking questions about adoption? Don't you want opportunities for dialogue? As long as no one is being hostile toward your child, what's really the harm?

But I digress.

Anyway, we have encountered a few awkward/hilarious comments, which I just thought were too funny not to share. Only one of them was about race, and that was before we even had Bo home.

#1
When we started telling people that we had accepted a referral for a baby in Ethiopia, someone did ask us if he was black. I couldn't tell if they were joking.

#2
After bringing Bonsa home, I took him to the grocery store with me. I had him nestled comfortably in the Ergo, his head resting against my chest. Coming around the corner of an aisle, I made eye contact with a middle-aged man, accompanied by his young daughter. He looked at Bonsa, smiled and said, "Best seat in the house." Um, what?

#3
We visited my family in NY in the beginning of October, and we always drive through Canada. On our way back into New York, the border guard was asking us some questions about the adoption process. He asked if there was a lot of paperwork, and we laughed and said yes. He then proceeded to say, "Yeah, and a lot of money, right?" We agreed to this statement as well. Then he said, "So, did you just pay his birthparents?" Umm... no. I think we said something about the fees for our agency and lawyers and visa/passport, etc... Really? You're border patrol! How do you not know that's ILLEGAL!? Maybe he was trying to trick us...

So there you have it. Our three funny comments. So far! Stay tuned...

real life conversations, pt. 17

Overheard as I was about to walk out of school for the day: "Oh, there's Rachel - she'll know."
I halted my steps and backed up a bit, as one of our secretaries and one of my co-workers popped out of the office.
"What's LMFAO?" they asked.
I blinked, considered my options and said, "Well, they're a band..."
"Okay, I thought I heard that," replied one of them.
"And, does it also mean something... crude?" asked the other.
"Um, yes. Yes, it does."

Glad to be of use... a little concerned that I was the one they thought to ask.
It's because I'm young, right?

real life conversations, pt. 16

The sad news is that Doug & I ended up not going to NY this weekend. We would have gotten in at 3am and we would have had to leave early on Sunday morning, so we decided to come out another weekend.

The good news is that prom was a ton of fun, and the kids looked amazing. The theme was "Dinner at Tiffany's" - and it was beautiful! (All pictures stolen from Marisa!)

Our officers:

 Best. Co-sponsor. Ever.

And then Doug & I went out for dessert afterward, during which the following conversation occurred.

Me: "We are living simultaneously young, wild AND free."
...about 5 minutes later...
Me: "Okay, let's get the bill. I'm tired."
Doug: "So young and wild and free, huh?"

real life conversations, pt. 15

At the dinner table, while discussing nightmares we've had, after Mom told us that a dream about fending off a wolf caused her to scream in the middle of the night, and Doug disclosed that he once had a nightmare that ninjas were chasing him...

Mom: "What exactly are ninjas? Aren't they like, turtles?"
*Blank stares from all around the table, then uproarious laughter*
Jayne: "Those are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!"
Me: "Mom, are you serious? You're the smartest person I know, and you don't know what ninjas are?!"
*We proceed to explain what ninjas are*
Dad: "Dreaming about ninjas should make you scream, not wolves."
Mom: "Maybe a ninja wolf."

real life emails

Me: ... My sinuses are more backed up than Usher. I just made that up, that's how awful I feel.

Doug: I don't get it.

Me: Back up dancers?

Doug: Oh haha. You should have said your sinuses are backed up like Juvenile. That could be a Mucinex commercial. The mucus dancing and popping it.

Me: That's disgusting. I love it.

real life conversations, pt. 12

[So, I have this little issue where I'll start to worry about something small, and before I know it, I've turned into this fatalistic freak, as if I'm watching a fire-breathing dragon burning down all of my hopes and dreams. See? Things get intense quickly. I'm working on it.]

Doug: You really need to stop worrying about this.
Me: I can't help it! I was born two weeks early! I'm a go getter! I can't help focusing on the future!
Doug: How long have you had that one in your pocket?
Me: Yeah, I thought of it yesterday. I was hoping I could work it into a conversation.

real life conversations, pt. 11

While flipping through tv channels at home last week, we came across the timeless classic Drumline.

Me: "Oh, is this with Nick Cannon?"

Doug: "Yeah."

Mom: "What's a nickannon?"

Me: "... A human being."

real life conversations, pt. 10

Radvent Day 4: Forgiveness

Practice forgiving about small, everyday things. Who and what are you ready to let go of resentment toward?

~

Me: Who's someone that I need to forgive? Who am I harboring bitterness toward?

Doug: *someone that rubs me the wrong way* ?

Me: Hm, I don't think I need to forgive her. She just annoys me.

Doug: What about *someone who said something offensive to me* ?

Me: I don't harbor bitterness toward her. I don't really care about her.

Doug: Well. This was an awesome exercise.

~

Soooo.

Clearly I've got some work to do in this arena.

First of all - - I know that there are far more people that I should ask for forgiveness, so I'm not trying to be hypocritical in this entry. I have hurt many people in my life - if I haven't asked you for forgiveness and there's something I've done to hurt you, please talk to me about it.

I forgive my former student who told me I'm not a good teacher.

I forgive people who speak without thinking and hurt my feelings.

I forgive my three best friends from freshman year of high school who consistently left me out.

I forgive my best friend from college who stopped hanging out with me after she got a boyfriend.

I forgive Ashley from my kindergarten class for tattling on me for talking while Mrs. Burgio was on the phone and subsequently making me miss 10 minutes of recess.

I forgive the boy who criticized my physical appearance and caused me to be plagued by insecurities for years.

I forgive the man who told me I was laid off from my first teaching job.

I forgive Zooey for chewing up the little apple & peach that Jayne carved for me.

real life conversations, pt. 9

Rachel: "What should I blog about?"
Doug: "Write about Michael Vick's amazing comeback."
Rachel: "Right."
Doug: "We missed The Office."
Rachel: "Blah."
Doug: "It's so weird to watch English people talk about American football."
Rachel: "Hm."
Doug: "Why would I ever get cable when I can watch everything online?"
Rachel: "TV will be obsolete before much --"
Doug: "YES! SACK! Another point for my fantasy league!"
Rachel: "Great. Hope this conversation pacifies the masses."

real life conversations, pt. 8

This is a conversation I had with my 6-year old niece, Leslie. This was after dinner, when she and her brother, Griffin, had both thanked me for dinner at least twice and told me that I "cook good food". Leslie & I were making cookies together.

Leslie: I can't wait for the cookies to be done! I'm going to watch them cook.
Me: Okay - you let me know when they're nice and golden brown.
Leslie: Yes! And then we will eat them. They will be SO good, because you cook good food!
Me, laughing: Thanks, Lili.
Leslie: And when you grow up, you should be a cook!
Me: That's a good idea. But then I can't be a teacher.
Leslie: You don't have to do that. You can be whatever you want to be!
Me: Good point. Good point.

real life conversations, pt.7

After stumbling out of bed this morning and haphazardly throwing my hair into a pony tail, I walked into the office to say good morning to Doug.

Me, still groggy: "Good morning."

Doug: "Hi cutie! Your hair is cute!"

Me: "For real??"

Doug, laughing: "No."

Me: "I'm totally writing that on my blog."

Doug: "No! It'll make me look bad."

Me: "That's what you get for making fun of my morning hair."

real life conversations, pt. 6

Me: "Five years ago, would you have imagined that you'd be making grocery store runs to buy me apple juice boxes, making my lunches, sitting on a couch rubbing my feet... and watching Glee?"

Doug: "Of course."

(My husband is a wise man.)

real life conversations, pt. 5

So, our apartment is weird in winter, in that the upstairs is always really warm and the downstairs is always freezing. I guess heat rises, but I didn't realize there would be a 10 degree temperature shift when I walk from the stairs into the kitchen. Anyway, I digress. On with the hilarity that is Doug Parton.

Doug: "I can't do my paper when it's this cold in the house."

Pause.

Doug: "I guess if Jonathan Edwards could do it, I can too."

real life conversations, pt. 4

Phone call to Doug yesterday evening, 5:30pm.

*ring!*

Doug: "Hi hun, I'm leaving the office right now."

Me: "Okay, um, good. But, I was also wondering..."

Doug: "Yeah?"

Me: "Um, well I was gonna see if you'd bring home a pumpkin spice latte, but I guess our budget is more important than my period cravings."

Doug: "Not to me!"

... He was home 10 minutes later with a pumpkin spice latte.

real life conversations, pt. 3

Doug, as I pick up a half gallon carton of vanilla with heath bar ice cream: "That should last you a couple weeks... theoretically."

real life conversations, pt. 2

While getting ready for work this morning, as Doug was in the bedroom and I was in the bathroom...

Doug: inaudible mumbling

Rachel: What?

Doug: Nothing, I was just rapping to myself.

real life conversations

Doug: "Do you ever pick your nose?"

Me: "Umm, yes? Doesn't everyone?"

Doug: "I never see you pick your nose!"

Me: "Um, well, I usually do it in the bathroom instead of in front of people. I can let you know next time."