11.06.2012

awkward comments in real life

So, having gone through pre-adoption education classes and hearing so many "horror" stories from adoptive families - especially transracial adoptive families - I was expecting to hear multiple comments from friends, family, strangers... you name it.

I've been pleasantly surprised that really, the comment I hear most often is, "He has amazing eyes!"
Which is just true.

To be honest, sometimes I think adoptive families get a little too worked up about questions they're asked. I mean, don't you want people asking questions about adoption? Don't you want opportunities for dialogue? As long as no one is being hostile toward your child, what's really the harm?

But I digress.

Anyway, we have encountered a few awkward/hilarious comments, which I just thought were too funny not to share. Only one of them was about race, and that was before we even had Bo home.

#1
When we started telling people that we had accepted a referral for a baby in Ethiopia, someone did ask us if he was black. I couldn't tell if they were joking.

#2
After bringing Bonsa home, I took him to the grocery store with me. I had him nestled comfortably in the Ergo, his head resting against my chest. Coming around the corner of an aisle, I made eye contact with a middle-aged man, accompanied by his young daughter. He looked at Bonsa, smiled and said, "Best seat in the house." Um, what?

#3
We visited my family in NY in the beginning of October, and we always drive through Canada. On our way back into New York, the border guard was asking us some questions about the adoption process. He asked if there was a lot of paperwork, and we laughed and said yes. He then proceeded to say, "Yeah, and a lot of money, right?" We agreed to this statement as well. Then he said, "So, did you just pay his birthparents?" Umm... no. I think we said something about the fees for our agency and lawyers and visa/passport, etc... Really? You're border patrol! How do you not know that's ILLEGAL!? Maybe he was trying to trick us...

So there you have it. Our three funny comments. So far! Stay tuned...


Posted by rachel at
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19 comments:

  1. Kristen [Teamfuest]11/6/12, 10:52 AM

    So glad that you guys haven't experienced the horror stories! Lol - that guy in the grocery store!

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  2. Sara11/6/12, 11:02 AM

    Those are hilarious! Can't wait to facetime - he's so so cute.

    ReplyDelete
  3. annieglan11/6/12, 12:14 PM

    #2 made me laugh really really hard. hahah

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    Replies
    1. rachel11/7/12, 1:44 PM

      haha, yeah it was one of those moments where it took me a second to think, "wait, did he really just say that?!"

      Delete
  4. DIP11/6/12, 2:37 PM

    another common one we get is, "his skin isn't as dark as i thought it would be". not entirely offensive. just an odd statement

    -doug

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  5. Anonymous11/6/12, 6:55 PM

    #2....ew. creeper.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Manda11/7/12, 11:27 AM

    ugghh. a parenting lesson i should have already learned: do not let your kids near your computer! levi somehow deleted my comment?!? doesn't it take like 10 click-throughs to do that?? oye.

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    Replies
    1. rachel11/7/12, 1:43 PM

      as it turns out, levi is a technological genius.

      Delete
  7. Anonymous11/7/12, 1:38 PM

    Funny stuff. I think most of the time, people are trying to be nice and polite and just really miss the mark. Best received with a sense of humor!! (And no, we're not trying for a girl... I love my boys. Thank you very much!!" ; )
    -Bethany

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    Replies
    1. rachel11/7/12, 1:43 PM

      oh my gosh - i'm sure you get that a lot! boys are awesome! :)

      Delete
  8. Sara11/7/12, 2:30 PM

    If you haven't seen this yet...watch it...http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/10/people-say-to-transracial-families.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+RAGEagainsttheMINIVAN+%28Rage+Against+The+Minivan%29

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    Replies
    1. rachel11/8/12, 9:51 AM

      I did see it - it's kind of what prompted this post, haha! It's funny, but again - not all of those things are bad questions. It opens up a conversation about adoption. I guess I'll just see how Bo feels when he's old enough to understand questions being asked about him.

      Delete
  9. votemom11/7/12, 7:46 PM

    we were asked if our girls were "little communists", if they would speak russian once they learned to talk, and the horrible one, "how much did you pay for them?"

    ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Carol11/8/12, 9:39 PM

    Oh my word. That last picture is adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Carol11/8/12, 9:40 PM

    My Brother and his wife adopted 2 children from Korea when they were about the same age as Bo. They have gotten some silly questions and comments as well!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Pamela12/11/12, 9:29 PM

    I have been really into Babywearing with my three youngest children, and I can't tell you how many times people have said the very same thing to me about the boys being in the best seat. I was surprised the first couple of times, but it got to be pretty normal after a while.

    I haven't been reading blogs lately, I'm so glad that you have your little love in your arms.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Pamela12/11/12, 9:30 PM

    I have been really into Babywearing with my three youngest children, and I can't tell you how many times people have said the very same thing to me about the boys being in the best seat. I was surprised the first couple of times, but it got to be pretty normal after a while.

    I haven't been reading blogs lately, I'm so glad that you have your little love in your arms.

    ReplyDelete

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