mommy education

I decided I should do a more lighthearted Mother's Day post after the last one. 
Because I have this problem where I don't do well with serious situations.
I have to make jokes. So after a serious blog post, I needed a little humor.

Things I've Learned/Gained From 8 Months Of Motherhood

Health and Exercise:
- Catlike Reflexes: Catching a stream of hot poop barehanded at 2:30am.
Or, grabbing little hands covered with poop to prevent them getting all over the wall.
- Balance & Agility: Learning to complete multiple tasks with one hand while
hoisting a baby on the opposite hip.
- Personal Care: Wiping bath-time boogers before they run into a little mouth... with bare fingers.

Housekeeping Skills:
- Innovative Domestic Techniques: Scraping soggy Golden Grahams from the carpet with my fingernail.
- Organizational Methods: Rubber bands. Empty bottom shelves. Child-accessible pots and pans.

Culinary Prowess:
- Creativity and Experimentation: What will my son hate today that he loved yesterday?
- Refined Palate: ie getting used to lukewarm, constantly interrupted meals 

Personal Style:
- Unique Accessories: This season, I'm wearing drool, half-masticated Cheerios, snot,
and I-don't-know-what-that-is-or-how-long-it's-been-there.
- Unparalleled Flair: By which I do mean yoga pants and ponytail erryday. 

- Language Expansion: I know all basic colors in English, Spanish and French. Thank you, Baby Einstein.
- Memorization Skills: Learning through repetition of a variety of classic children's literature,
including, but not limited to Barnyard Dance, Mr. Brown Can Moo and Hippos Go Berserk.

Psychological Acumen
Analytic Ability: discerning the confusing emotional behavior of a toddler
- Conflict Distraction: Oh, you want to play with that glass/sharp/fragile/antique object?
Here look! Why not dump an entire container of canning lids on the floor instead?

And I'm running out of steam, but there are many other lessons I've learned over the past eight months.
So grateful for the sweet boy who teaches me these lessons and makes me a mama.


  1. Laughed out loud for reals. Hilarious! Enjoy the never ending learning process!

    1. I'm glad! :)
      It's a fun ride - poop attacks and all!

  2. Boom boom boom mr brown is a wonder. Boom boom boom mr brown makes thunder. He makes lightening splat splat splat and it's very very hard to make a noise like that.

    1. Mr. Brown can whisper whisper, very soft, very high, like the soft, soft whisper of a butterfly... yikes.

  3. Hi I'm Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! LifesABanquet1(at)gmail.com