8.08.2012

a pleasant morning run

Subtitle: Ah, Suburbia.

This morning I decided to go for a run - stop laughing! - with Zooey. I mean, it is an amazing morning. It was like 70 degrees, low humidity, beautiful sunshine... what's not to love?!

So Zooey & I are just trotting along, enjoying the gorgeous day - getting close to my favorite part of the jog where I can take Zooey off her leash and run by some little ponds.
At this point, I see an elderly gentleman jogging toward us. And I'm thinking, hey guy, kudos to you for running at your age! I quickly assess the situation because I don't want Zooey to annoy this guy. She's traipsing along at my left side, so I stick to the left side of the pavement to keep myself between her and this approaching runner. Zooey has the tendency to um, over-enthusiastically greet people we encounter on walks.

So as we get closer, I look at the ole chap, give him a big smile and warmly say, "Good morning!"

And he responds in a cantankerous voice, "You're on the wrong side!" 

To which I reply, "Settle down, Scrooge!"

No, I'm just kidding, Mom. I was yelling that in my head, but I just ignored him and kept jogging, as he grumbled to himself. But seriously? SERIOUSLY?!

Let's break down the situation further, shall we?
First of all, this is a wide path. Doesn't really look like it in the picture, but dude had plenty of room. Second, hello! The path is surrounded by grass (albeit very poorly kept grass). Not like I'm edging you out into the street! Third, I was BARELY even on the pavement! Dude essentially had the whole sidewalk to himself. Okay - the red arrow is a tad bit deceptive. I had probably my right foot on the pavement. Fourth, REALLY?! Is my offense really that heinous that you had to point it out? (At this point I fully expect all serious runners to be like, "Yeah, Rachel, everyone knows you stay to the right, unless you're in Great Britain.") Fifth, I was saving you from the zealous energy of my dog! Sixth, I greeted you so nicely! RUDE.

He's probably at home right now, grumbling to his wife (or cats or whomever) about the young whippersnapper who's ruining society by JOGGING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE SIDEWALK. ANARCHY!

Next time I'm just letting go of Zooey.

I will say, in defense of the elderly in this neighborhood, that on my way back to take a picture of the spot (yes, that happened), I crossed paths with an old woman and decided to give it another go. I looked at her, smiled and said, "Good morning!"

And she responded, "YOUR DOG IS POOPING IN MY YARD."

No, I'm kidding again. She said pleasantly, "Good morning!" and returned my smile!
And thus, my faith in old people was restored.

I think the real lesson to be learned here is to avoid running.

9 comments:

  1. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

    Yep. That is totally our neighborhood.

    Avoid running at all costs. It was a valiant effort, though.

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    1. If people aren't scolding me for being on the wrong side of the sidewalk, they're telling me they don't want neighbors... can't win.

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  2. This really made me laugh Rachel! And I think that your final deduction is the one I have adhered to my entire life, there will still be the occasional Curmudgeon (perfect word) but he will be yelling at you for some othre major life rule you are breaking!

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    1. haha, i'm glad! :)
      i know - there's always someone taking their bad day out on others!

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  3. You make me laugh. But what is very cool is that I used the word "curmudgeon" earlier today. We may have had an inter-state, synchronized-vocabulary experience. Wahoo.

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    1. i'm turning into my mother.

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  4. Rude. This tale brought a huge smile to my face. I so admire you for going on a run. --DT

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    1. i use the word "run" loosely. it was more of a ... "wog".

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  5. I just ran to the pond with my dog... didn't meet anyone rude... just saying is...

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