This might seem funny, but in writing this, I first tried to think of everything Mom does that annoys me. I thought it would be funny to make a list of these “annoying” things, and then contradict myself by writing about how they actually reflect on what an amazing mother she is. Unfortunately, the only thing I could think of is the fact that she loves to sporadically put butterscotch chips in chocolate chip cookies. They’re called chocolate chip cookies for a reason!
Wait – I just thought of another thing. I’m not sure how thrilled she’ll be to have me talking about this on the Internet, but oh well. That’s what kids are for – public embarrassment. Here it is: my mom doesn’t need to wear deodorant! Seriously, how is it possible that this woman does not smell? Maybe this is weird or gross to people, but I’ve checked for her before, and I am telling you – this woman does not sweat. Actually, I’m not so much annoyed as I am impressed. The only thing I’m annoyed about is that she’s hogging all those fresh genes to herself. Where’s the love, Mom?
Anyway, allow me to extol my mother’s virtues:
My mom hasn’t had a day to herself in 23 years. Even when she’s on a business trip, indulging in a rare soak in a bathtub, you can rest assured that her cell phone will be ringing at some point later that evening, with kids or husband calling to check up on her. We love to joke that my mom hasn’t even been able to go to the bathroom peacefully in the past 23 years. Someone’s always walking in, calling up the stairs, yelling for her intervention in various disputes, etc. She seldom has time to relax when she’s at home –always running kids up to various sporting events, church activities, band concerts, etc. She is one of the most selfless people I know.
My mom is also one of the smartest people I know, if not THE smartest. She’s got an astounding memory. She’s incredibly humble. She’s the best cook in the world (minus the butterscotch chip obsession). She has an incredible work ethic – at her job, at home, around the farm – wherever she is. She has a flair for crafts and artsy projects, although she rarely has time to indulge in these hobbies. She is hilarious (even when she doesn’t mean to be). She’s tough – she went through childbirth 5 times with no painkillers whatsoever.