First, trains.
While I love the John Mayer song "Stop This Train," I do NOT love the trains in Plymouth. When I lived in western New York, trains were pretty cool because I rarely saw them. Occasionally, one would chug through little old Albion, stopping traffic for about 5 minutes, as small boys (and probably their fathers, too) watched in amazement. I even came to think of trains as an old-fashioned means of transport. No longer. Downtown Plymouth is, quite literally, surrounded by train tracks, which allow trains to invade our quaint city multiple times a day... and night. I can't even count how many nights I have been woken - just at the precipice of my REM cycle - by the incessant blare of a train horn. Really? We see you. I can understand a warning toot on the horn, but honestly - laying it on for 10 seconds straight? UNNECESSARY. In addition, some of these terrors have been known to hold up traffic for at least 13 minutes at a time! And that was only after I decided to watch the clock after I had been waiting for a bit. As if they don't know I'm in a hurry to IKEA? I've been here for almost 8 months - I don't think trains are something one grows accustomed to.
Second, traffic. I can't decide whether I hate driving around here more than I hate trains in the middle of the night - it's a close call. There are several factors that play into my frustration. While I love the 70 mph highways, I hate Michigan drivers. It's a bit annoying when I'm driving a comfortable 78 mph and multiple drivers are still riding my bum. I'd expect it if I was going 68, or even 70. But 78? Back off! To roughly borrow an idea from my dear friend Jeanette, someone had better be dilated 10 centimeters and pushing in that truck.
Outside the 70 mph highways, the highest speed limit near us is 50 mph, on a road I scarcely travel. Our city limit is 25 mph. Twenty-five. Because 30 would just be reckless.
Let's also discuss the state of the roads in metro-Detroit. Holy pot holes. Apparently these conditions are so treacherous because of the nasty winter weather and large allotment for truck weight. Whatever it is - it is sucking the life out of Michigan roads. People talk about craters on the moon - have they seen my route to work?! I'm starting to buy into the theory that dinosaurs went extinct because a meteor struck the earth, and that meteor landed right on Ann Arbor Trail.
I'm never alone on the road. There is always someone driving 5 mph under the limit or 15 mph over. I can never just drive leisurely at my preferred 5-8 over. There is no such thing as a "back road" in metro-Detroit. The closest thing we've got is Hines Drive, which is everyone's favorite route to and from work because there are so many fewer lights than every other road. I miss the roads of Barre and Kent and Lyndonville, etc. I expect rough roads in the country. I do not expect rough roads where the average income is greater than the sum of all incomes in Orleans County.
I've just decided to take all this as another sign from God that I'm meant to work at home. And by "work" I mean bake, read, and make ornaments.
