bringing bo home: prep for fam & friends

Dear family & friends,

We are so thankful for the outpouring of love and support through this adoption journey. Sometimes it's hard to remember that all the paperwork, fundraising and waiting will have been the easy part in comparison to actually parenting our little man! As we inch closer to bringing Bonsa home, we thought it'd be helpful to give you some information on what the next few months will look like for our family.
If you can put yourself in Bonsa's little shoes, you can imagine how difficult this transition will be for him. He is going with strange people to a new place with different smells, unknown foods, an unrecognizable language, and a whole host of stimuli he has never experienced before. While we eagerly anticipate bringing him home, he knows nothing of this arrangement. He will be dealing with the pain and uncertainty of being taken from the home and caregivers he's known for the third time in his short life. We will be doing everything we can to ease this transition for him. This includes "cocooning" for several weeks after he arrives home. Our adoption agency, friends who have adopted, and adoption classes have all strongly encouraged this process of "social hibernation" for a little while. This means you won't see us at church, and we won't be having people over or going out for a bit.
In addition, Doug and I will be the only ones who hold or feed Bonsa for the first several weeks. Children who have spent time in an institutional setting often learn that any adult might be able to meet their needs. Because of the many people who have cared for him, Bonsa has no framework to connect to us as his mommy and daddy. By having Doug and I be the sole "need meeters" Bonsa will begin to see that we are different from the other caretakers who have come and gone in his life. Please know that we mean no offense if we ask you to refrain from holding or hugging or feeding him. These limitations are an important step in helping him bond to us.
We have been so blessed by the love and kindness that our friends and family have shown to us and already to Bo. We know that many people's hearts are already invested in this little guy! We are just as excited to have Bo meet all our family and friends as all of you are to meet him, so we are incredibly grateful for your understanding and patience as we begin our life as a family of three. It won't be long before we're able to fully celebrate Bonsa's homecoming with our loved ones!
We appreciate your prayers and thoughts for our family as we make this transition. We know that God has led us this far and trust that he will see us through any difficulties ahead.

With love,
Doug & Rachel                                                                            Thanks to YWAM for the cocooning letter template.


  1. this is so interesting & helpful. i feel like maybe you should print this off and just start passing it out. :) "we promise we are not jerks...read this". praying that your sweet little bo is home to you soon and that it will be a not-too-hard transition for the three of you! xo

    1. or maybe just have t-shirts made... haha!
      thanks for your prayers!

  2. Thanks for sharing the next steps. It was helpful to know about the bonding process. It's like having a newborn and not taking him/her anywhere, not letting people hold them for the first few weeks, etc. I'm praying that the bonding will be smooth and that little Bo will warm up quickly. Even God can make that transition greater than your expectations!

  3. It's tough to follow through on the weeks of isolation but the pay off is HUGE! We did have to get out with Daisy because the boys had activities, but I kept her close to me and she did great. I can't recommend enough getting a comfortable carrier like a Moby and strapping him to you when you do take him out. People tended not to ask to hold Daisy if she wasn't easily accessible. Plus wearing him around the house is great for bonding! SO EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS!!!

    Rebecca Coleman

  4. As former foster parents, we truly understand the importance of this bonding process. Sending prayers and love to all three of you!