what lies beneath...

So, relatively recently, Doug & I have discovered that there is something living under our bathtub.

I was the first to discover this freeloader. Let me set the scene.

It was late afternoon/early evening, and Doug & I were both home from work. I decided I needed to do something totally unrelated to school, so I decided to go paint our laundry chute. As I walked into the bathroom and was about to sit on the floor, I heard a loud, distinct Knock. Knock. Knock. - coming from behind our shower curtain. 

You know those moments where you swear your heart stopped for a second? Yeah, that'd be one of those. I froze, staring at the bathtub in the mirror, wondering who was in our shower. I turned slowly, and quickly whipped the shower curtain back. Nothing in there. I stared for a moment, not daring to breath, until I heard a brushing noise coming from the wall, at which point I backed out as quickly & silently as possible and ran to the living room to get Doug.
 Conversation as follows:
Me, panicked look on face: "Doug. Doug. There is someone or something in our wall behind the tub."
Doug: "What?"
Me: "Please come look at it."
Doug: "Okay."
Me: "... Please take a baseball bat."

Well, a baseball bat wasn't readily available, so Doug just grabbed the closest weapon at hand - a knife that had been left on the counter. I promise I'm not making this up, nor did I steal it from a Lifetime movie.

We head into the bathroom, and of course, there's no noise whatsoever. Doug assures me that it was just "the pipes" - because, as we all know, pipes frequently knock on your walls and brush against them, creating a furry sound.

Anyway, long story short, a couple days later I heard it again, got Doug, and we both heard it. We knocked on the bathtub, and heard a scampering. So, we've been trying to figure out exactly what it is that is under our bathtub. Here is the list we've compiled thus far.

-Black cat we've seen hanging around occasionally
*Note: I've told Doug that anything beyond this point will be cause for us to relocate.
-Raccoon (Pretty sure this is the most likely candidate, although Doug tries to assure me there are NO raccoons in Plymouth. Sorry, but if you've got trash & trees, you've got raccoons.) 
-Bobby Fischer
-And my favorite - an Orc, pirating Internet, because they obviously don't have any in Mordor.

Tell me - what else could be hiding under our tub!

Although... we haven't heard any movement for a few days now, so it's either moved on... or died. Great - just what we need. A rotting Orc under our bathtub.


  1. If Mr. Garbage (the raccoon) ever pokes his furry, curious head through, then you should definitely pull him up the rest of the way and bathe him. That way, at least he'd be a clean pet, you know?


  2. I most definitely think it is The Borrowers! Too funny!

  3. Could it be someone who likes butter?!?

  4. Hey - there's a chance I may be in Plymouth to visit Clay Lajoie soon... if I am, can we grab coffee?

  5. Bobby Fischer...for sure! Or Elvis...or Tupac! I laughed out loud at this. I hope you figure it out before you're bathing with it.

  6. It's New York! She's trying to bring you home. Don't fight it! She will win. GO with her! See you soon!

  7. scary. i hate, hate things like this. i would probably try to make mike do something stupid, like tear out our entire bathtub were it happening to me.
    on another note, aunt jan had her annual fall party this past sunday and lyx, emily and i were on the deck, and emily said something and she sounded just like you and it was just the kind of comment you would have made and it made me miss you!

  8. I agree with Em.... Where do you keep your butter?