The stories of Doug’s allergy range from hilarious to horrifying.
-In kindergarten, his teacher had made “Ants on a Log” and Doug tried to tell her that he couldn’t eat it, but she thought he was just being picky. In a final moment of exasperation, she scraped off the peanut butter and made him eat the celery stick, which, obviously still had remnants of peanut butter, which obviously led to an allergic reaction.
-In college, Doug’s friend Steve had just eaten some peanuts, then the boys starting horsing around in the kitchen and Steve wound up grabbing Doug’s arm, only to leave raised rashes in the form of finger prints on Doug’s arm.
-In college, I had eaten trail mix for a snack, and I made sure to brush my teeth after eating them… because I was worried that the particles might travel through the air to him… not for any other reason. Anyway! Doug was doing some homework, and I was massaging his neck, when all the sudden he reached up and grabbed his neck and started itching it. “Did you eat nuts?!” Whoops… I had forgotten to wash my hands.
-Then, of course, there’s the notorious Peanut Butter Playground Story…
Doug’s nut allergy is one of the reasons I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting a hefty crown in heaven. I mean, think of the sacrifices I have already made in the name of love! Listed below are just a few things I have had to give up:
- PB&Js - Peanuts on sundaes - Eating Reese’s for dinner - Planters Cashews -Moosetracks Ice Cream - Peanut butter on s’mores - Chocolate with Almonds - Cashew Chicken - Dad’s nut-covered truffles - Banana Nut Crunch cereal – Butterfingers - Ants on a Log - & so, so much more.
We can never get carry-out Chinese because of the use of peanut oil. Whenever we go to PF Chang’s or Mongolian BBQ, our orders are made on a special grill (i.e. on the stovetop in the backroom).
If I ever experience an intense craving for nuts, then I have to follow this regiment: throw away the wrapper (let’s be honest – I get more cravings for chocolate with nuts than just nuts), wipe the counter, wash my hands, brush my teeth (again, that particle-through-the-air thing!), and drink lots of water.
I still eat nuts, just not nearly as often as I’d like. You can't enter the Bannister household around Christmas, during the prime of Dad’s truffle-making, without eating nuts (unless you’re Doug).
So, if we ever have an argument about making sacrifices for our marriage, I’m pretty sure I’ll have the upper hand. After typing all this, I hope anyone who reads this understands the humorous vibe it’s supposed to have – I really don’t use my forced no-nuts diet as leverage against my husband. Not on a regular basis, anyway.