the day the bat came to school

Today at school I saw a bat.

I had no students in my 3rd period class (I guess some students misunderstood "half day" to mean "optional day"), so I was going downstairs to make some copies. I was wearing high heels, so looking down at my feet, when suddenly, in the corner of my eye, I saw something moving on the stairs right next to me. At first, I simply thought it was a piece of paper that had fluttered when I walked by, so, finding litter utterly abhorrent, I turned to see what it was and potentially pick it up... nope, bat. I froze and watched as the little fricker tumbled to the ground below me. It was either a baby or injured or ill, and I wasn't about to be the one to find out. I looked around, for help, but alas - there was no one to be found, except for a couple male students at the other end of the hallway, seemingly miles away, talking to the security guard behind the front desk.

At this point, the bat had just stopped at the bottom of the stairs, as though he was enforcing a blockade, preventing me from running for help. I was a little panicky, and simply stared at him, whimpering the only word that came to mind: "...Bat.... bat?"

Fortunately, at this point, I looked up and realized that the boys were staring at me. I must have looked ridiculous - frozen halfway down the stairs with my mouth hanging open, grabbing the railing. Having made eye contact, I simply pointed at the floor and tried to call, "Bat!" The boys and the security guard shushed the conversation and motioned for me to yell again. So I yelled, "There's a BAT!" The security guard said, "A what!?" I yelled again, "A BAT!" Perhaps this was confusing, as she replied, "A live bat with wings??" No, I'm freaking out over a wooden baseball bat, lying on the floor... threatening me.

Well, our interaction had been a little loud, and it caused a reaction in a matter of seconds. Suddenly, the students and teachers in the classes at the bottom of the stairway were yelling "CLOSE THE DOORS!!!" and girls were screaming, and boys were filing into the hallway. A male security guard came running to a nearby closet and came out with a garbage can. One of my precious students had been dancing around the bat, taunting it (I am now convinced that some of them really will pick a fight with anything that crawls), and the security guard handed him the garbage can so he could grab a broom. Well, my student wasn't about to wait for the broom and simply dropped the can over the bat. Well... not exactly over the bat... he sort of missed and brought the edge of the can down on the bat's head. Which prompted more screaming and laughing and mass hysteria, basically.

Just another typical day at school!


  1. another amusing tale...this story made me laugh out loud in my office. what a great way to start my day. :) did you hear about my bat story from this summer? if not, i'll e-mail it to you.