more of the darndest things

Today I gave my students the following bellwork: "How would you respond to each of the following? War in your homeland, deportation, religious persecution, separation from your family."

Among several thoughtful responses, I also received these gems:

"If there was a war in my homeland, I would definitely go to a pet store and get bitten by every spider there hoping to get super powers. Eventually a venomous spider would kill me."

"If I was separated from my family, I would aimlessly wander the earth. Until I find a new place I can go for Christmas."

"Separation from my family would be tough because we're all pretty tight. Also, I don't think I could live without my mom's cooking."

"If I were deported, I would go across the Pacific to some third-world country and gain support of the people until I become the head of the country. Then I would make a democracy and make the US feel guilty for kicking me out."

"Religious persecution - I would start a riot. And I would be mad."

"If there was a war in my homeland, I would open a lemonade stand and make a ton of money. Also, I would only accept American money."

Ladies and gentlemen, the future of America...