were you aware of this?

So, a couple months ago, Doug & I got a note from the people who have a business below us, asking us if we could turn our stereo down a little on the weekends, as "this is a big old house, and sound travels easily. A client heard Johnny Cash last Saturday and complained." They were pretty cordial (although it was funny that they had to mention Johnny Cash), so we happily complied and have kept our music to a dull roar.

Yesterday morning, we received a second note (on the same yellow legal paper). This time, the note was not so cordial. The note was inside an envelope that merely said "Upstairs Tenants," and it was not even signed.

Just in case this photo is not clear enough: "We would really appreciate it if you would train your dog to urinate and defecate in the back yard -- it looks unsightly for a business, and it's right along the path I walk from my car to the front door. Also, your dog is regularly urinating on our welcome mat at the front door - were you aware of this? We would like you to show some consideration. Thank you."
Um, Doug and I do NOT own an animal of canine persuasion. Or any animal, for that matter. Doug and I got a good laugh out of the note (including questioning whether telling them we don't own a pet would make them think one of us was "urinating and defecating"). I went downstairs twice to talk to the woman who runs the business, but both times, a massage was "in session," so she wasn't available. So I simply left a polite note saying, "Sorry for leaving a note - I came down twice, but you were in massage sessions [...] I got your note, but my husband and I do not own a dog. I believe our neighbors do have a dog, and if you speak to them, I'm sure they would understand your concerns." I also returned her note... which, admittedly, I did because I wanted her to re-read it and feel bad for being rude.

Well, this evening, Doug and I were running some errands, and lo and behold, we found a sheet of yellow legal paper on our windshield, tucked under the wiper. As you may have guessed, another note. Wait, no, not another note - the same note. The same, exact note. So, now... we are at a crossroads. What to do? We've been left with so many options! When we got back from running errands, our neighbors had returned, and Doug asked me if I was going to pass off the note and tuck it under our neighbors' wiper. I believe my exact words were, "No! I am not their dirty little messenger."
Do I write another note? Do I talk to her in person? Toss the note and make her think our neighbors are now letting their dog "urinate and defecate" to spite her?

Possible responses:
"Wrong car! We have the Honda and the Lumina. Try again!"
"Okay, we weren't going to tell you, but the second note convinced us - our plumbing is down, okay?"
"Maybe you should just go talk to them?"
"We still don't have a dog."

So many choices!
But I can't be too harsh, because at least they're recycling! Go green!


  1. That is so hilarious, at least your downstairs neighbor is giving you great blog material. I definitely vote for, "We still don't have a dog." he he.

  2. I agree. Hilarious. My opinion on the note is leave this message ... "Due to the hazardous conditions outside our home, Doug and I will be returning to live in Western New York where doug will learn to fly fish and be one of the Bannister outlaws." That should do it. See ya soon!

  3. How about: "Perhaps you should check with said clients. Maybe you will find your culprit amongst one of them."
    Oh, how wonderful to have such amiable landlord people. Hilarious post!

  4. This is the funniest thing I've read all year . . . year in the lead for 2008!

  5. Yep, that's definitely supposed to be *you're* in the lead for 2008.

  6. So, I just linked to this post in a comment I left on this post . I decided I would read it out loud to Kyle and I couldn't make it through because I was laughing so hard. My face is now tear stained and he's having to read the rest on his own.