this is the day that the lord has made

Three years ago today, I woke up with the Ethiopian sun.

It was hazy and gray - the type of morning that points to a day of sunshine and heat.

I lay under the blankets, butterflies dancing in my stomach, and smiled.

This is the day that the Lord has made...

  This was the morning we were to pick up our son.

64 days after first holding him in our arms...

Thousands of miles of ocean finally evaporated between us...

Reams of paperwork finally in order...

And now, only a few hours and a short car ride separated us.

Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

An excerpt from my journal from that morning:

My brain cannot comprehend that we are picking up Bo today - for good!

I mean, I understand that it's happening, but it doesn't seem real.

I have been waiting for this day for so long.

I think I keep expecting the worst, in my heart of hearts.

We've been cautioned and have heard so many stories of bad scenarios...

I think all of that is currently assailing me.

I know that God is in control. Father, calm my heart.

3 hours. 3 hours and our lives are going to change so drastically.

This is the day that the Lord has made...

On the drive over and as we made our way to the entrance of the Thomas Center,

I was a bundle of contradictions. Feeling nervous and at peace.

Feeling ready and completely unprepared.

We stepped inside and our translator explained that we were Bonsa's parents.

I heard footsteps on the stairs, and a nanny appeared, holding him.

She placed him in Doug's arms and gave me a bouquet of flowers.

Shortly afterward, we walked back out the door - a family of three.

Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

My heart is so full.

When I watch Doug holding Bo.

When I listen to Bo's snorty little breathing.

When I gaze at his round tummy... his gorgeous lashes...

touch his soft skin... hear his amazing laugh -

my heart feels like bursting. 

Like it's just too big and full of love to be contained in my chest.

To be honest - every time I look in the mirror, I'm a little surprised to see me.

I feel so different.

This is the day that the Lord has made...

Many times I lose sight of the amazing hand of God in the formation of our family.

I get caught up in the details of daily life.

I think it's our tendency as temporal creatures in flawed relationships.

We forget the enrapturing emotions that once enveloped our every step. 

The way our hearts quickened at the sight of our beloved.

The awe of first beholding a baby that emerged from our bodies.

And the overwhelming joy of holding a little boy that God has led you to from around the world.

Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Today, as I reflect on our journey of becoming a family,

I'm reminded that every single day is the day that the Lord has made.

And I pray that these days of remembrance become far more frequent 

as we praise Him for His faithfulness to us even amidst the daily details.

Father God, be glorified in and through our family.

May we be a testament to your grace and love.

Thank you for uniting us. Thank you for creating family.

Thank you for this sweet angel boy asleep beside me.

Thank you for my amazing, strong and patient husband.

Draw us ever closer to one another. Be the foundation of our family.

Draw us to you and help us desire the things of your heart.

God, I praise you for your goodness and faithfulness.

And Lord, a very selfish request...

please, please no poop geysers on the plane.

Happy 3 year Family Day, Bonsa Boy.

remembrance leads us to worship

2 years ago today, we became a family of three.

Each year until Bo is 18, we have to send a post-placement report to our adoption agency.

It's an awesome opportunity to reflect on all that has happened the past year,

and all that has happened since we welcomed Bo into our family.

The ways we've grown.

The ways he has shaped us.

The lessons we've learned.

The memories we've made.

The other day, I was listening to a Spotify playlist, and Matt Redmond's song "Remembrance" came on.

The lyrics are really beautiful, and there's one line that says:

"Lord, we remember You, and remembrance leads us to worship."

And that's how I feel every time I reflect on our adoption process and Bo's life.

When I think about how God led us to Bo and made him a part of US...

I'm overwhelmed by His faithfulness and goodness.

Happy 2-year Family Day, Bo.

We love you so much.

the first time

Didn't get the chance to post this on the actual anniversary, 

but June 28th was the 1-year anniversary of meeting little Bo for the first time.

You can read all about our first moments with Bonsa here & here.

And now, here we are a year later.

Still as completely smitten & grateful for this precious life!

our first glimpse

I shared this story on our adoption blog, but wanted to have it on our family blog too.

On Sunday, April 15, 2012, I was sitting in my friend Patti's classroom, 

and we were taking a break from hours of painting set for Beauty & the Beast.

We had ordered Chinese food for dinner and were in the process of reading our fortunes.

I opened mine and saw the following: 

I laughed, feigning terror and said, "Oh please - not this week!" 

because we were running dress rehearsals, the musical was opening Thursday - 

not to mention we had full days of teaching.

Disclaimer: I do not believe that fortune cookies are prophetic.

However, I do believe in irony.

Because the very next day, an "unexpected event" changed our lives forever.

Our adoption agency was very small, and we were never assigned a "number" 

to let us know where we were on the waiting list.

So a year ago today

- Monday, April 16, 2012 -

Doug & I were caught off guard when our caseworker called us

and asked us to look at the agency's waiting children page.

We opened the webpage and saw...

... our son.

And our lives have never been the same.
We love you, Baby Boy B.

bonz & the fraz

This past weekend we drove to Chicago and

finally, FINALLY, Bonsa met his buddy, Mayes Fraol! 

When we first got to the Van Winkles', Fraz was so excited that he started doing laps -

crawling back and forth - probably the fastest little crawl I've ever seen.

As you can see from the picture above, Sara & I wasted no time 

getting the boys down to diapers. 

We had so much fun watching the boys interact. They really seemed to like one another!

And of course there was bath time.

 

It was a weekend full of laughter and joy.

It's amazing to see you both as parents and to spend time with your beautiful family.

We love you, Van Winks! 

ethiopian hair & skin care

A few people have been curious about how we care for Bo's skin and hair, 

so I thought I'd share that info here for any others who may wonder. 

It's been a learning process, and I'm continuing to read adoption blogs 

and experiment every now and again with different products.

Let me also say as a caveat to readers, prior to having a child, 

I really could not have cared less about hair and skin care 

(with the exception of trying to stop my stupid mid-20s breakouts ARGH). 

I am very much a throw-it-back-in-a-pony kind of girl. 

Truly, I have had more fun figuring out Bo's hair and buying products for him -

I think he has more than I do.

Products:

- coconut oil

- olive oil

- Cantu daily oil moisturizer

- Cantu leave-in conditioner

- Johnson's baby shampoo

- Johnson's baby wash

- Johnson's creamy oil cocoa & shea butter

- petroleum jelly (not pictured)

Every Morning: 

1) I do a light mist of a mix of water and olive oil on Bo's hair (see spray bottle above) -

not trying to make it look like he's fresh out of the bath or a downpour here. 

2) Just a dab of Cantu daily moisturizer, rub it between my hands and then gently massage into his hair.
3) A little J's creamy oil when he's getting changed.

Every Evening - Skin

I always moisturize Bo with either coconut oil or Johnson's creamy oil. 

Evening - Hair

A. Bath nights. Bonsa gets a bath every other day (okay, sometimes every 2 days - so sue me). 

On weeknights, we start off putting olive oil into his dry hair while he splashes in the tub. 

I then wash his body with baby wash. He plays while I get his hair all wet. 

Before he gets out, I put in a small dollop of Cantu leave-in conditioner. 

I found out that if I use too much, his hair is crunchy and too product-laden the following day. 

I try to "blot" dry his hair with his towel, and then I just let it air dry. 

We just started using the coconut oil, and I read that it smells funky after a couple days.

So I think we'll use coconut oil on his hair on Thurs or Fri, since we shampoo Saturday.

On Sat night, I shampoo then do the leave-in conditioner again.

B. On nights that Bo doesn't get a bath, I usually just do another light spray of the oil/water mix, 

or do a tiny bit of the daily moisturizer again.

Cheeks & hands.

Bo's cheeks & hands tend to be the most dry area of his body - 

I'm guessing because that's the skin most often exposed. 

So, probably once or twice a week, I'll put a little petroleum jelly on him, 

especially if we're going outside.

So, that's our routine for now. 

Thoughts? Suggestions? 

Once we're done with Johnson's baby stuff, I'll probably look for different shampoo & wash.

Have you tried anything that you absolutely loved or hated?

minis

Check over HERE for some news that makes us do THIS:

awkward comments in real life

So, having gone through pre-adoption education classes and hearing so many "horror" stories from adoptive families - especially transracial adoptive families - I was expecting to hear multiple comments from friends, family, strangers... you name it.

I've been pleasantly surprised that really, the comment I hear most often is, "He has amazing eyes!"
Which is just true.

To be honest, sometimes I think adoptive families get a little too worked up about questions they're asked. I mean, don't you want people asking questions about adoption? Don't you want opportunities for dialogue? As long as no one is being hostile toward your child, what's really the harm?

But I digress.

Anyway, we have encountered a few awkward/hilarious comments, which I just thought were too funny not to share. Only one of them was about race, and that was before we even had Bo home.

#1
When we started telling people that we had accepted a referral for a baby in Ethiopia, someone did ask us if he was black. I couldn't tell if they were joking.

#2
After bringing Bonsa home, I took him to the grocery store with me. I had him nestled comfortably in the Ergo, his head resting against my chest. Coming around the corner of an aisle, I made eye contact with a middle-aged man, accompanied by his young daughter. He looked at Bonsa, smiled and said, "Best seat in the house." Um, what?

#3
We visited my family in NY in the beginning of October, and we always drive through Canada. On our way back into New York, the border guard was asking us some questions about the adoption process. He asked if there was a lot of paperwork, and we laughed and said yes. He then proceeded to say, "Yeah, and a lot of money, right?" We agreed to this statement as well. Then he said, "So, did you just pay his birthparents?" Umm... no. I think we said something about the fees for our agency and lawyers and visa/passport, etc... Really? You're border patrol! How do you not know that's ILLEGAL!? Maybe he was trying to trick us...

So there you have it. Our three funny comments. So far! Stay tuned...

a year later

Last October, I had the opportunity to take photos of my dear friends, Patti and Zac,

for their adoption profile.

Since this picture, there have been many mountains and valleys in their lives.

Ecstatic joy and unimaginable heartache. 

It has been incredible to watch their marriage thrive and their faith in God grow.

Seeing in action what it means to trust God in all circumstances.

So this fall - a year later - I am elated to share their most recent family photo.

My heart is so happy for this beautiful family of three.

Z&P - Congratulations! 

We love you guys.

homecoming.

Our first flight, from Addis to Amsterdam, was smooth sailing.

It was Bo's bedtime, and we had a bulkhead seat in economy comfort - with a bassinet!

Doug & I were able to get quite a bit of sleep on that flight!

We love flying KLM. The flight attendants were amazing.

One in particular was obsessed with Bonsa - she gave us a little bag of goodies 

on which she had written, "God bless your new family!"

Then, there was the flight from Amsterdam to Detroit.

We were on a Delta plane - not as nice as KLM. 

The flight attendants were... less than helpful.

We were still seated in economy comfort, but we were in the middle row in between 2 other people.

Thankfully, those people were more than understanding and helpful with our fussy little guy.

Bo took a couple short naps, and one 2-hour nap. He slept like this:

I made several quick dashes with Bo to the bathroom, which PRAISE THE LORD,

was very close and always unoccupied when I needed it. 

Bo went through three outfits.

We ended up carrying him off the plane in a white onesie, wrapped in a blanket.

We stopped before immigration to change him into his last clean outfit, 

in hopes that it looked like we had it together.

I am just so thankful that he didn't have any major screaming fits...

After getting through immigration, we walked out the door and were greeted by sweet friends & fam.

A huge thank you to Kennerly for capturing this special moment!!

Thanks to Ellie & Janni for driving us home and taking our family of three picture at home:

We were so excited to see that our sweet neighbors had decorated our porch!

Thanks for heading that up, Lindsay & Maria!!

It's been pretty difficult for me being away from my family, so I am incredibly thankful for friends who have helped with our transition. A huge thank you to people who have provided meals for us: Katy, Kennerly, the Finks, the Colemans and the Townleys! We are so blessed by our loved ones.